To Lie or not To Lie...That is the Question.

Hi!!!

I am sooooo sorry for the long breaks in between my posts....I have just been busy busy busy (shopping)..I'm on holiday so forgive me!

So before I jump right into the reason for the ominous title...I just wanted to update you guys on the GIMP situation.

So...I kind of stopped thinking about him the minute I got to Nigeria. I just didn't want to waste valuable time on him. So I went about my business and that's when I met Mr. Perfect..or M.P. for short...but you already know about all that :)

So I was online the day after I got back and he started talking to me (on MSN)...my first instinct was to ignore him but he kept sending messages and I decided it wouldn't hurt to find out what he wanted...

Gimp: Oh, so now you are answering me?
LG: I don't understand...
Gimp: I know you went to Nigeria. You didn't even call to say goodbye!
LG: Er...I didn't think I needed to...
Gimp: So all those conversations meant nothing?
LG: Say what?
Gimp: The least you could do was inform me we were no longer speaking
LG: We're not not speaking, I was just busy
Gimp: Good, because I was sort of hoping we could pick up where we left off, Gimp has been wondering what's going through LG's mind (he has this annoying habit of speaking in the third person...which fucks me off to be honest...why didn't I notice this before?!)
LG: Nothing really...what do you mean 'pick up where we left off' *laughs* you are funny...
Gimp: I'm serious
LG: But you can't be
Gimp: What is your problem
LG: I doubt I'm the one with the problem
Gimp: So you are saying you don't want to keep talking?
LG: Oh, we can talk...we're friends right?
Gimp: Do you think we were talking as friends?
LG: No, but you told me you didn't want a girlfriend
Gimp: At the time, yes
LG: Well, it doesn't matter now...
Gimp: Seen
LG: Word
Gimp: You are funny...
LG: Thank you...I get that all the time...
Gimp: I don't mean funny ha ha. I mean funny!..you frustrate me...
LG: Taste of your own medicine
Gimp: Huh?
LG: Never mind...gotta go. peace *signs out*

Say it with me now....SATISFACTION!!!!!! :D

You guys remember my Ex?

Ex: oh yeah?..can u move out of the way, you're blocking the TV...

Yeah, that one...he did the same thing!...Almost a year later he was telling me I will never find another one like him...that no one will ever give it to me as good as he did...

well guess what?? I FAKED IT!

I said it!

LOL

I cannot for the life of me understand why boys behave in such a confused manner! I swear it always happens like this. Was I not good enough when I was interested? Why do you have to wait a couple months and then decide you want me? And it seems to be a common phenomenon...I know they say you never know what you have until it's gone and all that good stuff...

But you are just a big fat idiot if you didn't realise what you had when you had it because once it's gone...it might not come back fool!

Pardon my ire...I'm just annoyed...thank goodness for MP.....Sigh :)

ANYWAY

Back to the reason for this post!

The other day I was talking to MP and he was telling me how he loves the way I dress. That he was shopping online for some things for himself and saw some things he thought I would like...based on what he had seen me wear.

So, ok...I thought, that's sweet...I thought he wanted me to choose them and then he would pay...

but then he said those dreaded words

'So, I was wondering what size you were'

!!!

I know some of you are like...what's the big deal? but trust me...It's a big deal. One of two things could happen...

1. He could guess too small...forcing you to lie through your teeth and agree with him because you feel so flattered.

2. He could guess too big and you spend the rest of the day feeling like an elephant.

Now....if you are a skinny little thing...and you have no qualms about telling him you are a size 6...good on you....

But I am by no means a skinny little thing...I have copious amounts of junk in my trunk..feel me?

And no matter what anyone says...the difference between two sizes can be like the difference between being sexy and being fat.

Once it gets into the double digits...it just sounds big...Don't get me wrong...a 10 is a good size...but compared to an 8 it sounds massive...and a 12!...well...it's one size from a 10...but you can get away with a 10 because 10 brings perfection to mind...And some guys are just clueless...so to them all girls should be a single digit size!

So of course I didn't know if he was one of these guys...so that's when the question popped into my mind...

'To Lie or not to Lie'

But he beat me to it.

MP: You look like a 10 but because of your hips and bum-which I love-sometimes a 12
LG: *Silence*
MP: You there?
LG: That's about right...
MP: Cool...I love your size...those thighs... *And the rest of this conversation is not appropriate for this post* :)

Yayy!!

I'm sure some of you think I'm crazy...but I have to be honest here right? And don't lie...

Some of you would have lied.

Shame on you

;)

XX

He had me at hello...

Hola Blogsville!

I am so so sorry for this unnecessarily long absence! I have just been really busy ;)

I haven't actually been on blogger for a while...so I have missed some of you very very much. Charzy my love...you know I could never abandon you!

Well I did promise to give you the gist and here it is!

About a month ago I had all but given up on finding a man. Not because of any reason in particular, I just thought i would focus my energy on other things. But you know what they say...Its when you least expect it. I have never really been a fan of cliches but this time I had to admit I was right in the middle of one.

This may sound like the plot of a movie...but he works in my dad's office, thus making me the boss's daughter!

I was walking around the office saying hi to a bunch of people I knew that worked there...there were a few new people and I thought I may as well introduce myself to them. When I walked into his office all I could see at first was the back of his head, so I walked up to him to say hi....When he turned around I became this blinking fish of an idiot

BF: Oh Hello, you must be Mr ******'s Daughter, I'm BF
LG: (In a teeny voice) Um...yeah
BF: Heard so much about you (smiles)
LG: (Melts) Um...yeah
BF: Ok....So how are you finding Nigeria?
LG: OK...It's ok I mean
BF: OK, well nice to meet you
LG: Yeah

I could not believe it...I really could not believe it and felt like asking for a do-over...but how stupid would that look

'Oh hey, excuse my earlier behaviour, I was just dazzled by your good looks and your obviously amazing physique...do-over?'

I could have kicked myself...but then I would have fallen over and made more of a fool of myself.

Over the next couple of weeks, I saw him about 3 times in the office when I suddenly needed to get something from there of just visit my dad. Not in a stalkerish way! You know, in a cool, I just needed to show him I wasn't a complete spastic way!

So we kind of developed this friendly banter...and it was all good...I kept telling myself to get over this feeling I had because obviously he didn't feel the same way...as we talked more I found out we went to the same Uni...only he went 5 years before me...we liked the same music...we hated the same things...I realised that we actually had chemistry...but what could I do about it??

I decided to invite him for this party I was going to since I had two extra tickets. He said he would come...

I cannot tell you (very sadly) how many hours of preparation went into that party...I thought it might be my chance to let him know what was up...:)

So he gets to the party and I am looking very hot if I do say so myself...so he comes up to me and tells me I look hot! Score!

We somehow ended up dancing the whole night...which was almost 3 hours...So I was happy :) Then he gave me the Look...and leaned in closer...my lips puckered of their own volition...any second now...

He moved back

BF: I don't know LG, I work for your father, it might be weird.

FUCK!

LG: Er...ok

I extracted myself from within his sexy arms and walked away.
In my mind it sounded like an excuse, but the more optimistic part of me decided to give him the benefit of the doubt. It possibly could be weird to date the daughter of the man you work for.

The next day i decided to write it off as a fluke attraction...and move on.
I call BF to let him know there were no hard feelings...

BF: I'm not sure if this is the right thing to do, but I can't seem to get last night out of my head...Maybe we should get to know each other better?

*doing a little victory dance*
LG: (In an ultra cool voice...as if I hadn't been doing a victory dance) Ok...

So it began! We spoke on the phone for hours...and the rest they say is history!

THE FIRST KISS
He took me out for dinner one night at a really nice restaurant...he opened doors and pulled out chairs. We decided to go to club after dinner...We went to 3 clubs and danced and talked... at the third club we were dancing, I was facing him...and before I knew it his lips were on mine.

Sweet Mother of God

The whole club melted away. I couldn't feel my legs. It lasted an eternity

(This is so cheesy I know. But i can't help it! It's true...Gosh thinking about it now gives me shivers :) )

So the rest really IS history.

I am currently on holiday...and its hard to be away from him when we just started going out...

I don't think I have ever felt this connection with a person before...He knows me even though we have only 'known' each other for little over a month...He is the most considerate and thoughtful guy I have ever met...

Could this be the one?

Ok, ok it seems a tad bit premature to say....but I'm telling you blogsville...the way I feel on the inside...I cant really describe it :)

He told me that even though some people think it is 'out of sight, out of mind' its different for him because for once he isn't thinking rationally and he doesn't like me in his mind, he likes me in his heart.

His friend asked me if I had used jazz on him (LOL!) because he has never seen his friend act this way...this is his friend who never liked PDA, who never really looked at a girl like this, holding my hand at all times, kissing me every 5 minutes, smiling every time he talks about me...

Well, what can I say? I have that effect on guys. :-D

So, now I am in this amazing relationship and I cant remember a time when I wasn't happy...I know there is always a 'honeymoon period' but I don't care...all I can think about is the now.

I sound like a big mushy idiot, I know :)

Allow me

Love,
LG

BRB!

Dear Blogsville,

Sooooooooo sorry for the extra-long hiatus. I have been busy...BUSY FALLING IN LOVE!

It's a tad bit dramatic, I know, but I don't care!...the sun is shining brighter, the birds are singing!...(actually, it's raining and the only birds around are those damned pigeons...but you get what i mean...everything's good!!)

I'll fill you all in when I find the time in between being swept off my feet! :-)

LG
xxx

Lady and the Gimp

There are guys you KNOW want you

There are guys you KNOW want to have sex with you.

There are girls who can tell the difference a mile off

There are girls who have trouble differentiating the two

and

There are girls who intentionally blur the lines because to them any guy is better than no guy at all.

It is so easy to fall into the third category...

my theory is...nothing right is ever easy...

The following are snippets of conversations I had with a guy. A guy who i KNOW wants to have sex with me...yet I find myself drawn like a moth to the light.

The guy...who will be referred to as Unashamedly Trying To Get Into My Pants (UTTGIMP)...or 'Gimp' for short (simply because he is such a gimp!)

We Met...A while back
We Talked...for hours
We Danced...all night at a party
We Kissed.

and then

he said

'I'm not looking for a girlfriend'

LG: Did he just say what I think he said?

Brain: Yes. Yes, I believe he did.

LG: So what did the kiss mean? (oh I hate myself so for asking this)
Gimp: You look pretty tonight...but I'm just not looking for a girlfriend

Ok...I went home...I was drunk...maybe i misunderstood

Brain: No, idiot...you heard him all right

Next morning...sober

*on the phone*

LG: Look Gimp, I'm not the sort of girl who has 'things' with guys. I have enough friends. I'm not asking you to change your mind. I'm simply telling you that I'm not going to be your 'thing'.
Gimp: Why are you running away from me?
LG: Explain
Gimp: Just because I said I wasn't looking for a girlfriend doesn't mean, we cant still talk to one another

think...think...think...

avoid

LG: I have to go *click*

next day the phone rings

LG: Hello?
Gimp: Are u still running?
LG: Not at all. We can keep talking (first mistake)

And we kept talking...I almost forgot he had told me he didn't want a girlfriend...I thought I was changing his mind (yes, I was that girl...)

*on MSN*

Gimp: Send me a picture
LG: OK...
*5 mins later*
Gimp: No...a more risque picture
LG: I don't have any
Gimp: Take one
LG: err...ok...next time

what was I doing? even considering taking the picture...what had become of my dignity? my common sense?

*on the phone*
Gimp: I misjudged you...
LG: How so?
Gimp: You are an intellectual. You know what you want out of life...most girls I meet are vain...or have been handed everything in life. You want to make a difference

Happy Happy JOY JOY!!!

Brain: Don't count your chickens just yet...

Gimp: When are u coming to see me?
LG: well, I might come sometime next week (second mistake)
Gimp: I really want to get inside your head *translation: inside your pants*
LG: we can do that over the phone
Gimp: No, I want to talk to you about some stuff...my business plan... I need your input (smooth move)
LG: ok. sure. I'll come see you

I went to see Gimp...and fortunately nothing happened...but he knew what he was doing.
He cooked for me
He wore tight jeans
He bent over a lot (lol)

I was in Lust

While we were talking I noticed a ring on a chain around his neck...so I asked

LG: whats that?
Gimp: oh this? A girl i used to see gave it to me
LG: *heart sinking* And you still wear it?
Gimp: Yes, if I ever thought I could marry someone it was her
LG:
Gimp: why so quiet?
LG: oh..nothing...I better be going
Gimp: Ok...when I catch you next time *wink*

two weeks later....(in a good place)

*on the phone*
Gimp: why have you been avoiding me?
LG: look, I told you I wasn't really looking for a friend...I don't know what got into me...you obviously have some unfinished business with that ring around your neck
Gimp: No, we're finished. I was just telling you I could have married her

Brain: So why does he still wear it?

LG: Ok, sure...so whats up?
Gimp: I want to see you
LG: I'm really busy at the moment
Gimp: so, when you're less busy
LG: Why, do you want us to talk more about your business plan?
Gimp: No, I want to bite you
LG: *blush*
Gimp: are u blushing?
LG: of course not! (serious voice)
Gimp: You look like you could be a freak
LG: excuse me?
Gimp: you know, the way you danced with me at that party...only someone with a lot of confidence would have danced with me like that. only a confident person would be a freak
LG: I don't think the two are connected in any way
Gimp: I beg to differ...just come and see me first
LG: what will you do? ( i couldn't resist)
Gimp: you will just have to wait and see
LG: hmmm...I'm not a freak though
Gimp: maybe we consider different things freaky
LG: whats freaky to you?
Gimp: whats freaky to you?
LG: *laughing* I asked you first
Gimp: Ok, tying up, bondage...that sort of stuff
LG: hmmm...
Gimp: was that an affirmative 'hmmm' I heard?
LG: it was a neutral 'hmmm'
Gimp: I cant stand it when I'm in bed with a girl and I feel like its a one-man show
LG: what do you mean?
Gimp: I'm doing all the work, she has no reaction...sort of like a log...you don't look like the log type

Brain: LG, I think you should...
LG: BRAIN, SHUT UP!!!!!

my mind was telling me to quit while I was ahead
my body was dancing to an entirely different tune...

LG: You can't know that just by looking at me and talking to me
Gimp: something tells me I'm right
LG: Like what?
Gimp: My 'Voice of Desire'...it's never wrong
LG: You are funny
Gimp: I'm serious...
*sweat*
LG: well...(feebly)...i'm not having sex with you if that's what you're getting at...I wouldn't have sex with just anyone
Gimp: I'm not just anyone
LG: Yeah...(wtf, YEAH?!?!)..i mean No...you are
Gimp: No I am?
LG: I mean Yes, you are
Gimp: are u flustered?
LG: not at all! *fans self*

attempt to change the subject

*after some talk about the future*
Gimp: how many children do you want?
LG: I don't know, maybe 3
Gimp: when do you see yourself getting married?
LG: Erm..I cant really say...you?
Gimp: well, I'm not even ready to settle down yet..I have to sort out my business first

Brain: In case you didn't hear him right the first time...hiss

LG: oh...ok
Gimp: What are you wearing
LG: Pyjamas
Gimp: So you're in bed?
LG: Yes
Gimp: hmmm
LG: that seemed like a loaded 'hmmm'
Gimp: It's what you want it to be

My head hurt...why was he doing this? Or more importantly...why was I letting him?
But...I'm neither weak nor stupid (most of the time anyway)
I decided to call it a night before I whipped out my card and hopped on the last train...

The next morning...I told FashionGirl and DancerGirl

FG: You see the shit...So why do you jump into it?
LG: I'm a big girl (God, I'm pathetic)
FG: It's what everyone says...no one is immune
LG: But, i could just get it out of my system
FG: I'm going to slap you now
LG: Ok ok ok...
DG: Ok, why don't you just go and do it and them come back and tell us how it was...
LG: Really??
DG: NO! big fool!
FG: He knows what he is doing
DG: He's probably done it before
LG: He did seem kind of smooth...and practised
FG: because he is
DG: Why do you think he still wears the ring?
LG: Sigh

So now...its 01.29 am....

And I'm thinking...I'm thinking...I should not be thinking about him...the very thought of his face looming towards mine should send me into a fit of rage...how dare he!

How dare he seduce me?
How dare he be the light to my moth?

I know when FG reads this she will slap me.
Maybe subconsciously I want her to

P.S. FG please don't sneak up on me and slap me...I'm coming to my senses...promise

:-)

Been There, Done That....

I was thinking the other day about how sometimes we find ourselves in situations we wouldn't normally expect to find ourselves in....

if someone told us we were capable of making such obtuse decisions...we would probably laugh...like 'who is this person?...*hiss*...he obviously doesn't know me!...'

And then we go and prove them right!


***an aside*** FashionGirl pointed out the most random thing to me the other day...why are 'hairy' situations...named as such? what exactly is hairy about them?

ok...

As a member of the fairer sex, i know it's kinda hard to find the balance between making the RIGHT decision and making the decision you WANT to make...and it's especially hard to make any kind of lasting decision when it comes to a guy...

I hear about girls getting themselves into all sorts of hairy situations...ones that in my opinion have a big red blazing 'NO!' hanging above them....i mean, really...who could be that stupid?

But...i find myself sympathising with girls or even guys who find themselves in these situations...with barely a soupçon of dignity left in the miserable soap opera's of their lives!

...because I, my friends, have been one of those unfortunate people.



Scenario 1
The classic 'other woman' situation. Now, i know that at least one in five people who read this blog will either have been in this situation or would know someone who has been or currently is in this situation.

You meet a guy, and he's really cool...u click. everything is perfect. Except for one thing...he has a girlfriend...now, you can either find out by yourself...or he could even tell you himself...either way, there's suddenly an obstacle in the way of your happily ever after.

This is where the big red blazing 'NO!' should become apparent.

When this happened to me...i saw the big red no...i saw it getting closer and closer...and even when it was smacking me repeatedly on the forehead...i went ahead and sealed my fate as the other woman.

People have all kinds of reasons for staying in this situation...it may be because you are lonely....it may because you THINK you can handle it...'I'm a big girl...this is the 21st century...yadda yadda'....it may be because he SWEARS he is going to break up with his girlfriend...that it was over anyway (i think this is the most common reason!).

Remember the ex i wrote about?
'Oh yeah?...can you move out of the way? you're blocking the tv...'

well, when i met him he had a girlfriend...and i was lucky enough (not) to find out about if from a friend of mine who knew his girlfriend...and at this point...we had already been out on a few dates...kissed...exchanged charming stories about our childhood (you know, the point of no return)...so naturally i was gutted....

but being young and gullible, i believed him when he said he would break up with her....6 months went by and, well...

'i'm trying to babe...but you know, i don't want to hurt her feelings'
yeah? what about mine fucker?

eventually...i gave up waiting...i picked the shards of what dignity i had left off the floor of his bedroom and got the hell out of there (which was made easy by the fact i was going to Nigeria for summer...lol)

Luckily (or unluckily) for me, he broke up with her and asked me out..and we enjoyed 6 months of argument-filled relationship bliss

:-(

It doesn't always end up this way though...i was one of the 'lucky' ones who got the guy in the end...but at what cost?...i lost his respect, the respect of my friends, the respect of his friends...and 6 perfectly good months of my life.

It might feel good for a moment...but for every moment he's not with YOU...u go crazy thinking he is with HER..which he probably IS...and if he REALLY wanted to break up with her and be with you..wild horses wouldn't keep him away.

that's the truth



Scenario 2
Infidelity.
almost EVERYONE has a different opinion about how to handle this situation...the only safe way, i think...is to define what exactly you can and can't take and stick to it.

If u can pardon a kiss...then do that...without dragging it out and hanging it over his head for the next 4 years of the relationship!....but if he has sex with another person...absolutely under no circumstances should u let him off the hook.

chances are..through the course of the relationship, he discovers what your boundaries are..and the minute he knows you have relaxed the rules for him...he will have no qualms about taking the piss.

that's really all i can say about it....

its a shame really that the scarlet letter cant be reintroduced... :-)



Scenario 3
The 'two-timer' situation....this is sort of like the other woman situation..except..he is actually with you BOTH...at the same time...

personally, i think it takes a great deal of courage, bordering on stupidity to be the 'two-timer'. You have to keep both parties in the dark...how does one even manage that? I'm intrigued!

imagine this...two girls in the same school...some could even say they were friends...lived in the same block of flats...went to the same clubs...dating the same guy....

without knowing.

how did they find out? one girl finally saw the signs of a cheating man and decided (thinking that was all it was) to confront the other girl...

Girl 1:look, i don't know if there is anything going on with you and my boyfriend..but i would appreciate it if you stopped calling him so much...
Girl 2: Your boyfriend...what do you mean?...he's my boyfriend!

****stunned silence****

Girl 1:Are you having a laugh?


I kid you not...this happened...i bore witness.

doesn't your conscience just eat away at you when you do such a thing?
well...
As a wise man once said...

'Self-interest, or rather self-love, or egoism, has been more plausibly substituted as the basis of morality...'

this wise man knew his shit.



Scenario 4
The 'he's just not that into you' situation...which i think is by far the one with the most opportunities to maintain some dignity....but as we all know...its easier said than done

imagine you meet a guy and he's charming or whatever...but u notice there's still something a little distant about him...

Justification 1.
he's just taking things slowly...he's uncertain about how he really feels about me...

and you cruise along for an indeterminate amount of time and you begin to feel him warming to you...u hone in on things that would otherwise be classified as normal behaviour...

he opens the door for you....
...oh he's falling for me!

he pays for dinner...
...surely he wouldn't do that if he wasn't falling for me!

he calls you 'babe'
...he loves me! (he also calls his sister 'babe')

and then one day you cant help yourself...u ask the dreaded question
'where is this going?'

and he's just like...'umm...where is what going...?'

Justification 2.
He's just not ready for commitment, I'm going to be the one who changes his mind...

then u work yourself into a frenzy trying to be the 'perfect' girl..u cook, u clean, u buy his sister a birthday card AND post it to Nigeria (with your money)...or something equally as stupid...
but...
nothing changes.

well...the truth is
he is just not that into you...

he may be keeping you around because...lets hand it to you... you're smart, funny...and he doesn't mind the personal chef/maid service...

but girlfriend? not likely.

I hear stories about this happening to girls for YEARS...for years...they hold on to the hope that he will one day wake up and realise the girl of his dreams was in front of him all along...

Plus there is a possibility he finds the TRUE girl of his dreams while you are secretly planning the flower arrangements and bridesmaids dresses.

I think the sooner girls realise that he might just not be into them...the better for them...and truth be told..if a guy really wanted to be with you (and you weren't just overly impatient...or insane)..it wouldn't have to get the point where you have to ask where it's going!


I hope no one reading this has the misfortune of experiencing any of these scenarios...and if you already have...well then, I hope it's made you stronger....like it has me!...lol

Keep your eyes peeled for the big red blazing 'NO!'

xxx

5 Habits of Highly Effective Boyfriends.

Hey People!

I have been thinking about this for a while now and suddenly decided to share it with the world!

It's nothing serious...lol...or even failsafe...after all there is no perfect formula!!...but i think you will find that it really does help...

Based on my past experiences with guys, I have come up with 5 things that i think every boyfriend should know...how do i know this? because i spend two years sending telepathic messages to my ex..willing him to do just ONE of these things...but alas...he was a sour one...:-D

So here goes....

pinch of salt people!

1. Little Reminders
If you have been going out with your babe for a while now and the sugar-coated glaze of the 'honeymoon' phase is over and you are getting into the nitty gritty of the relationship, it's important to remind her...as often as you can...that she is still special...like if you are really busy...say during exam time..you would be surprised that a small gesture such as a text, or even a 5 minute conversation on msn would brighten her day because it means you are THINKING about her.

you would actually be surprised the amount of time your babe could spend thinking 'is he thinking about me?...' and the second you assure her u are...it changes the focus of her thoughts...giving her time to think about other important things in her life (not that you aren't important...:)...but we as girls should NEVER spend valuable time pining).


2. Take Interest in her Interests
Now this is self-explanatory..but i think its a really important point to take into consideration because i think it brings you as a couple closer. She just feels a connection with you and it also proves that you LISTEN..

the super-boyfriend would actually go out of his way to LEARN about his babe's interests...now, not all guys have time to learn about something random like wildlife photography..but if its your girlfriends passion..you should at least be able to name one famous photographer she tries to model herself after...

my ex...well, he was a special one...

aside from writing, i am actually really passionate about my degree and how i can help people using it...

i can't exactly say what my degree because then it would only make it that much easier to identify me!!....... :-D

so let's say I'm passionate about...wildlife photography...lol

LemonadeGirl: so, babe I've been thinking..i need new lenses for the camera so i can get better shots....would you come with me? the equipment is kind of heavy..
Ex:...um..why do you need to take pictures of animals, they aren't even interesting..
LG: well that's my passion...
Ex: why do you need lenses...cant you just use your digital camera
LG: because i need to use special lenses..to capture moving things....
Ex: oh yeah?..can u move out of the way, your blocking the TV...


NEVER a good look :(


3. Give her Space
I know girls hate it when u make any kind of reference to them being 'hormonal'..but u know what? its the way we are built..we are meant to be emotional!...an emotionally unavailable girl...is a guy.

So, i know it irritates the shit out of you when your girlfriend all of a sudden has a mood swing and is stomping around glaring at you for no reason...but u have to just ignore it and GIVE HER SPACE

CARDINAL RULE: never ever ever ever use the word 'Drama' in any kind of context in reference to her behaviour...never! and i know you would never be the ass who asks her..

'are u on your period?...'

U could possibly receive a slap if she really IS on her period..lol


4. Respect
this is a short one...more of a reminder
I know a lot of you guys are thinking...'c'mon, i already respect her...' but this is just to remind you that there are a lot of ways you could be disrespecting her without knowing it...for instance...public situations

It might be a subconscious thing..but the point is to make it conscious! don't ever say something derogatory to her (even as a joke) in front of ANYONE.

5. Let her THINK she has won!
lol...i think this is every girl's favorite...which might sound strange because of the word 'think' in the title...but if u are a skilled bullshitter this will make all ur relationship dreams come true!

Sometimes you find yourself in a situation where u cant seem to agree with your babe...and ur both battling it out and u KNOW that you are right..and she's getting angrier and angrier..and all you can see is that 'special something' she promised you tonight slip away..

STOP..and think..'is it really worth it?...' and just give in. Yes! i know ur pride hurts blah blah...but its all about the bigger picture..u get me?

you would be surprised at the speed with which she shuts-up! and in her mind she thinks she has won..and everything is OK...so u BOTH win

I know girls that read this will be like...huh..what are u saying?..but think about it ladies...if you don't know hes doing it..it feels soooo good when he just gives into what ur saying..because lets face it we always think we are right...lol...and it cuts short unnecessary arguments!

sooooo...guys...just do 2 or three of these things (but no. 5 is imperative!) and if there is an improvement...show me some love...:D

LG
xxx

P.s. my birthday is round the corner bloggers...any ideas for what i should do?

Tail Chasing Pt. 2

Hola!

This is just a quick one!

My friend DancerGirl was reading my 'tail chasing' post last night and she brought up an interesting point...

The absolute worst scenario (even worse than him acting like nothing ever happened) is if you had to CONVINCE yourself that you liked him in the first place!!

and i thought 'yeeeeeaaaaaah' (because i have been victim to this atrocity)

You meet a guy..he's ok...u know..manageable...then u think...'im kinda bored...why not?...' then u slowly warm to him until...

BAM!

the tables have turned...and from my knowledge on such things...it happens overnight..u suddenly realize...'oh damn..i'm in trouble'

enter
...
...

SILENCE

ok...so its bad enough ur plans of relationship bliss are thwarted...but u didn't even REALLY like him in the beginning!!



it stings.



this brings me to another friend of mine, GorgeousGirl..who incidentally could be FashionGirl2...but would kill me if she knew she shared a name with FashionGirl (dont i have fabulous friends?!)..but she is ridiculously pretty so her ego will have to settle for GG.

anyway...

she came up with two terms for some of the people we meet in out lives...and it is really true!


Desperate eyes: this is when you see a guy that you THINK is soooo hot and all your friends are like 'dude...wtf?'...thankfully...because when u look again...u realize he's actually not what you would normally go for...this is due to the lack of enough beautiful men in ur life and so ur brain tells you everyone is fit...usually happens when inebriated...

akin to beer goggles...but we are too stylish and fabulous to drink beer (ick)...lol.

Growers: guys that u wouldn't usually consider, but they win u over with their charm...or they have the perfect smile...or something! then suddenly u find urself thinking...'hmm, what is this funny feeling? could it be lust?...' and then it's too late...u love him! (ok not love...)

So, as i said earlier...when growers do the disappearing act...its a bitch...it really does something terrible to your sense of self-worth...

but...we are big girls! what can we do but brush it off...and hope the next 'lemon' life throws at us isn't some sour, mouldy, worm-ridden grower who has nothing better to do than waste valuable days, weeks or months (if ur really unlucky) of our lives...

Personally, i'm waiting for life to send a tall, dark, handsome, sculpted, smart, ambitious, funny lemon my way...and we can make sweet sweet lemonade together...sigh

ok, i rant.

till next time!

xxx

Tail Chasing...

Hello again!

I know when the novelty wears off it will be a hassle to post a new blog every single day...so enjoy me while i'm here!

What i'm talking about today applies mostly to girls...but guys, i think u should read it too...so u can understand the sheer frustration we feel!!

You know when you see some scrap of a dog running in circles but on the spot, trying to catch its own tail?...well i don't know about you, but i feel a little bit sorry for the dog knowing that its plan will never come to fruition...

but the chase must be oh so sweet, otherwise why would any living thing subject themselves to that kind of headache?

Well it applies to people too!

You meet a guy....

he's really cool, u begin to talk on the phone, Msn, Facebook...and you find out you have alot in common...

then u graduate on to the conversations that last multiple hours...you know the type...the ones that could be anywhere from two to twelve hours...what do you talk about? absolutely everything!! u exchange charming stories that date back to when you were in diapers...you talk about your dreams, your ambitions, your ideals (and in the beginning stage...we all have very strong ideals!..lol)..finally you either fall asleep whilst the other person is still talking or u tear yourself away from the phone because u have an early lecture the next morning...

During one of the many conversations he begins to tell you about his ex..and u begin to feel all warm and fuzzy inside...because why else would he be telling you about his past relationship...if not to drop some subtle hints?

...he might even start a sentence...

'If you were my girlfriend...'

At this point all you are hearing is this sentence over and over and over and.......puddle of mush

So everything is going great...u even feel brave enough to face the 101 questions your friends will have when u break the news to them...but you go about this carefully, because you know how precarious the beginning of something new can be...

he ticks all the right boxes
ambitious...tick
funny...tick
good looking...tick
sexy...tick...(and one more tick...sigh)
kind...tick

You even find yourself talking about the person every ten minutes (much to the chagrin of your friends)

'Oh, I wonder if so-and-so likes cranberry juice...I think i'll try cranberry juice...'


and then
....
....
....
....
....
....



SILENCE



Now, don't get me wrong..this doesn't happen all the time...but at the same time it happens quite frequently...and it is possibly the worst feeling in the world

Deep down in your heart you knew it could go either way..but you were pleading with the relationship gods to shine their light of good favour upon you...because your last boyfriend was a prick...

But...u are subject to the disappearing act...and you begin to wonder (especially if its after you met for the first time...thats the worst)

Was i not pretty enough?
Did i say the wrong thing?
Did i fail some some invisible test? (when you passed mine with flying colours and gold stars!)

And i'm sure this could apply to some guys too...(just reverse the situation obviously)

Its the chasing tail theory...you come so so (sosososososososo) close to a good thing...but you never quite reach it...

And if you are reaaaaally unlucky...he might even one day out of the blue make contact...but...act like nothing ever happened before!!..not even a hint of an explanation (oh woe is you if this happens)...you feel even smaller than you did before when you told yourself he was busy, or sick with a really bad case of something!

Well, as my mother says...u have to get through many dissapointing side shows to get to the main attraction

So, i guess we have to keep chasing our tails till we finally catch them (him/her... whatever!)

but its so annoying when you feel your teeth finally brushing the tip of the fur on your tail (so to speak)...and then its gone!

I sincerely hope you all are that much closer to catching it (If u already haven't that is!)

..cuz all this running in circles is giving me a damn headache!

:D

x x x

Making Lemonade!

Salut, fellow bloggers!

I know everyone has some sort of introductory spiel so i'll try very hard not to bore you with mine!

here goes...

Im a 21 year old Nigerian girl trying to make sense of this jand way of life (bus passes :(, rain :(, constant state of financial depression :( ), I'm in my final year at a respectable University counting down till i can leave the hell hole!

I think that's enough for now :)

Ok, i'll get right into it

For those of you who don't know...there is a common saying 'when life gives you lemons, make lemonade'

well...unfortunately it isn't always that easy to grab all the lemons and squeeze them into a sugary pulp..sometimes life throws you sour rotten ugly lemons...what then?

being a black..or even an african woman is hard in this country..especially when you are used to the african way of living...for example...hair.

For all of you nigerian girls reading this, i know you will understand what im about to write about...when you are trying to get your hair done, there are so many things to consider first. Instead of waking up, shaking out your silky locks and thinking..'hmm i think i'll just pop down to the salon to get a wash and trim'.

Nooo...we have to assess the undergrowth first, think...'hmmm do i have enough money to make the monthly trek down to some obscure scary looking part of town to buy afro-hair?...is my usual hair person available?...do i have 6 hours to dedicate solely to sitting on my ass and getting my hair pulled ten different directions?...'

And in my town, its extra hard to tick all those boxes.... So..one day i decided to get my hurr did...but i felt there would surely be somewhere closer to home to endure the anticipated torture...so i walked into a neutral looking salon (because u can't just walk into a salon full of blondes under a dryer)...and asked the man behind the desk if they do afro-hair (approach the situation delicately)...and he said...

'Oh, sorry madam, unfortunately we don't do afro hair...why dont you try somwhere away from town..you know, further away'

Excuse me?
'you know...further away'
I felt like he was saying my hair wasn't good enough to even...touch

So that makes it even harder to get your hair done in this country... having to brush off the insults too

And does anyone see nothing wrong with the phrase 'black-on-black crime'? You hear it on the news, and in general conversation...but wait a minute...as opposed to white-on-white crime?...lol...do you ever hear chinese-on-chinese crime...?

I think it's odd thats all..

My friends were in an incident involving an irate cab driver and a black girl the other day.

The cab driver pulled up for my friends and they were about to get in when two black girls came up to the car and asked if it was theirs....the cab driver told them it wasn't but i guess that wasn't good enough!

as the car pulled away, one of the girls spat...twice!!.. on the body of the car...

So in the car the (asian) cab driver turned to my friends and asked..

'why is it that 'darker skinned women' are more violent than other women?'

well...u know my friends were majorly pissed at this point...and u know when someone says something even vaguely racist...ur quick to jump in and set them straight...but what can you do when a cab driver asks you that kind of question after two black girls spit on his car?

Speaking of random happenings...one night, three weeks ago my friend FashionGirl and i went to a random party of a friend of mine's. It wasnt a bad night and we had fun... but the most random thing happened when were about to leave...

FG had been dancing with a guy towards the end of the night and noticed that he was keener than she would have liked...so on our way out he goes up to her and proudly informs her..

'I have alot of money in the bank., I'm good looking and I have a big d**k...what do you have to to bring to the table?'

!!!!

homeboy didn't even crack a smile...he was serious!!

FG just turned around like she hadn't even seen or heard him.

These are just some of the things we have to deal with in this country..as well as school...God knows how we do it all! :)

So that's it for now...i hope your not trying to stifle a yawn...lol

I promise my next post will be cheerier

...i hope


LemonadeGirl...xx