Lady and the Gimp

There are guys you KNOW want you

There are guys you KNOW want to have sex with you.

There are girls who can tell the difference a mile off

There are girls who have trouble differentiating the two

and

There are girls who intentionally blur the lines because to them any guy is better than no guy at all.

It is so easy to fall into the third category...

my theory is...nothing right is ever easy...

The following are snippets of conversations I had with a guy. A guy who i KNOW wants to have sex with me...yet I find myself drawn like a moth to the light.

The guy...who will be referred to as Unashamedly Trying To Get Into My Pants (UTTGIMP)...or 'Gimp' for short (simply because he is such a gimp!)

We Met...A while back
We Talked...for hours
We Danced...all night at a party
We Kissed.

and then

he said

'I'm not looking for a girlfriend'

LG: Did he just say what I think he said?

Brain: Yes. Yes, I believe he did.

LG: So what did the kiss mean? (oh I hate myself so for asking this)
Gimp: You look pretty tonight...but I'm just not looking for a girlfriend

Ok...I went home...I was drunk...maybe i misunderstood

Brain: No, idiot...you heard him all right

Next morning...sober

*on the phone*

LG: Look Gimp, I'm not the sort of girl who has 'things' with guys. I have enough friends. I'm not asking you to change your mind. I'm simply telling you that I'm not going to be your 'thing'.
Gimp: Why are you running away from me?
LG: Explain
Gimp: Just because I said I wasn't looking for a girlfriend doesn't mean, we cant still talk to one another

think...think...think...

avoid

LG: I have to go *click*

next day the phone rings

LG: Hello?
Gimp: Are u still running?
LG: Not at all. We can keep talking (first mistake)

And we kept talking...I almost forgot he had told me he didn't want a girlfriend...I thought I was changing his mind (yes, I was that girl...)

*on MSN*

Gimp: Send me a picture
LG: OK...
*5 mins later*
Gimp: No...a more risque picture
LG: I don't have any
Gimp: Take one
LG: err...ok...next time

what was I doing? even considering taking the picture...what had become of my dignity? my common sense?

*on the phone*
Gimp: I misjudged you...
LG: How so?
Gimp: You are an intellectual. You know what you want out of life...most girls I meet are vain...or have been handed everything in life. You want to make a difference

Happy Happy JOY JOY!!!

Brain: Don't count your chickens just yet...

Gimp: When are u coming to see me?
LG: well, I might come sometime next week (second mistake)
Gimp: I really want to get inside your head *translation: inside your pants*
LG: we can do that over the phone
Gimp: No, I want to talk to you about some stuff...my business plan... I need your input (smooth move)
LG: ok. sure. I'll come see you

I went to see Gimp...and fortunately nothing happened...but he knew what he was doing.
He cooked for me
He wore tight jeans
He bent over a lot (lol)

I was in Lust

While we were talking I noticed a ring on a chain around his neck...so I asked

LG: whats that?
Gimp: oh this? A girl i used to see gave it to me
LG: *heart sinking* And you still wear it?
Gimp: Yes, if I ever thought I could marry someone it was her
LG:
Gimp: why so quiet?
LG: oh..nothing...I better be going
Gimp: Ok...when I catch you next time *wink*

two weeks later....(in a good place)

*on the phone*
Gimp: why have you been avoiding me?
LG: look, I told you I wasn't really looking for a friend...I don't know what got into me...you obviously have some unfinished business with that ring around your neck
Gimp: No, we're finished. I was just telling you I could have married her

Brain: So why does he still wear it?

LG: Ok, sure...so whats up?
Gimp: I want to see you
LG: I'm really busy at the moment
Gimp: so, when you're less busy
LG: Why, do you want us to talk more about your business plan?
Gimp: No, I want to bite you
LG: *blush*
Gimp: are u blushing?
LG: of course not! (serious voice)
Gimp: You look like you could be a freak
LG: excuse me?
Gimp: you know, the way you danced with me at that party...only someone with a lot of confidence would have danced with me like that. only a confident person would be a freak
LG: I don't think the two are connected in any way
Gimp: I beg to differ...just come and see me first
LG: what will you do? ( i couldn't resist)
Gimp: you will just have to wait and see
LG: hmmm...I'm not a freak though
Gimp: maybe we consider different things freaky
LG: whats freaky to you?
Gimp: whats freaky to you?
LG: *laughing* I asked you first
Gimp: Ok, tying up, bondage...that sort of stuff
LG: hmmm...
Gimp: was that an affirmative 'hmmm' I heard?
LG: it was a neutral 'hmmm'
Gimp: I cant stand it when I'm in bed with a girl and I feel like its a one-man show
LG: what do you mean?
Gimp: I'm doing all the work, she has no reaction...sort of like a log...you don't look like the log type

Brain: LG, I think you should...
LG: BRAIN, SHUT UP!!!!!

my mind was telling me to quit while I was ahead
my body was dancing to an entirely different tune...

LG: You can't know that just by looking at me and talking to me
Gimp: something tells me I'm right
LG: Like what?
Gimp: My 'Voice of Desire'...it's never wrong
LG: You are funny
Gimp: I'm serious...
*sweat*
LG: well...(feebly)...i'm not having sex with you if that's what you're getting at...I wouldn't have sex with just anyone
Gimp: I'm not just anyone
LG: Yeah...(wtf, YEAH?!?!)..i mean No...you are
Gimp: No I am?
LG: I mean Yes, you are
Gimp: are u flustered?
LG: not at all! *fans self*

attempt to change the subject

*after some talk about the future*
Gimp: how many children do you want?
LG: I don't know, maybe 3
Gimp: when do you see yourself getting married?
LG: Erm..I cant really say...you?
Gimp: well, I'm not even ready to settle down yet..I have to sort out my business first

Brain: In case you didn't hear him right the first time...hiss

LG: oh...ok
Gimp: What are you wearing
LG: Pyjamas
Gimp: So you're in bed?
LG: Yes
Gimp: hmmm
LG: that seemed like a loaded 'hmmm'
Gimp: It's what you want it to be

My head hurt...why was he doing this? Or more importantly...why was I letting him?
But...I'm neither weak nor stupid (most of the time anyway)
I decided to call it a night before I whipped out my card and hopped on the last train...

The next morning...I told FashionGirl and DancerGirl

FG: You see the shit...So why do you jump into it?
LG: I'm a big girl (God, I'm pathetic)
FG: It's what everyone says...no one is immune
LG: But, i could just get it out of my system
FG: I'm going to slap you now
LG: Ok ok ok...
DG: Ok, why don't you just go and do it and them come back and tell us how it was...
LG: Really??
DG: NO! big fool!
FG: He knows what he is doing
DG: He's probably done it before
LG: He did seem kind of smooth...and practised
FG: because he is
DG: Why do you think he still wears the ring?
LG: Sigh

So now...its 01.29 am....

And I'm thinking...I'm thinking...I should not be thinking about him...the very thought of his face looming towards mine should send me into a fit of rage...how dare he!

How dare he seduce me?
How dare he be the light to my moth?

I know when FG reads this she will slap me.
Maybe subconsciously I want her to

P.S. FG please don't sneak up on me and slap me...I'm coming to my senses...promise

:-)